So when I first started this blog I was truly excited about writing daily or even weekly and getting my thoughts out to the endless world of the internet. But I haven't really written that much. So I am back (well I guess I was never really here that much) but I am here and trying to write again, lets see if it works out this time.
Over the past few months a lot has happened in my life that has made me re-evaluate what is important, who to depend on and where I stand in life. In short, I had some very intense family stuff happen, I got moved from a "we need you" position at work to a "b team" position to layed off and my boyfriend and I took a week break to evaluate our relationship and make sure it is where it should be.
My family has been going through some major life changes since February, without getting into too much detail I had to be the adult and the shoulder to lean on. While I don't mind being the strong point for family members, its hard when you are just as involved as they are in the situation, you have to pull strength from a place that you weren't even sure existed.
During this time my work made some organizational changes, at that time I was moved from the position that i was recently told was a "we will always need" to what they were calling the "JV staff", where we were told we had to petition for projects, essentially may the best man win. I was already so stressed out with the family situation that it was increasingly difficult to deal with the situation at work. Everything made me cry and I was having a hard time holding it together. I did the best I could do but was layed off a month or so later (along with 4 other staff members).
About a week after being layed off, my relationship took a little turn... My boyfriend was having some difficulty dealing with all the craziness I called life and "wasn't sure if we should be together". Talk about the final blow. I packed up and left that day, I was so upset that I could give and give and give so much in the 2 years we have been together and he couldn't even man up to support me in my few months of need. I stayed with my mom for a week, in that week we only conversed via email, somedays seemed like we were moving forward and some felt as if we were moving backward. One week felt like an exhausting month! In the end, I needed more support and appreciation from him and he needed more trust from me. We did work things out and I am now home, but don't want to go through that again.
After going through a week of sitting at my mom's house with nothing to do, I realized that I REALLY need more friends. So I posted a craigslist ad in the strictly platonic (I know, I know) looking for gal pals. And guess what... I found some! I met an amazing new friend, Ashley, who is a blast to be around and just brings light into a room! I also met a new friend, Amber, who I am just getting to know, but she seems like a ton of fun so far and I can't wait for a friendship to develop.
I recieved unemployment and have been looking for jobs daily. Lord knows how many I have applied for! I had 2 great interviews about a week after I got layed off, but neither of them worked out... since then I have had a whole lot of nothing! Just sitting and applying over and over and over.
This all leads up to right now... right now, I am sitting at home, waiting for my BF to get here so we can go do laundry. I had a great interview this afternoon with an awesome start up company and I am hoping to hear good things. I think once I get a job I will finally be in a place where life is settling back into place... while the issues with my family are still going on, the initial shock has much warn off and I think I will be OK. I have new friends, a newly revived relationship with my boyfriend and great potential heading my way...
Until next time...
Jenna Rae
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